It is recommended that each and every couple should be in possession of a relationship contract whether they are legally married or not. There exists agreements between couples either written or unwritten. It is also known as relationship agreement.
- 1 The Benefits of Having a Relationship Contract
- 2 Relationship Agreements
- 3 Things to Know Before Signing a Relationship Contract
- 4 Personal Intentions which lead to the Need for a Relationship Agreement
- 5 Details of a Relationship Contract
- 6 Relationship Agreements: Tips and Useful Information
- 7 The Importance of having a Relationship Agreement
- 8 Relationship Contract Templates
- 9 Consequences of Breaking a Relationship Contract
It is a legal document written and signed by a couple, which defines rights and obligations in a categorical way that each party owes the each other after accepting the terms of the agreement and is a process of putting down unwritten rules onto a paper.
This document is supposed to direct couples on how things will be managed during and after the relation. It includes things such as these; payment of consumer bills, property, debt payments and individual expectations in a relationship and many other demands. Its legality makes it enforceable by law if one party fails to adhere or fulfill his or her obligations as directed by the written terms and conditions of the contract. It will make you aware of your partner’s interests and the kind of relationship you would like to be in.
Having a relationship contract is one of the wisest decisions that a couple can ever have in order to have the surety of their wealth and how it will be managed after they die. An online relationship contract template will give you the exact idea of what all are the terms in such a contract.
The Benefits of Having a Relationship Contract
Being in possession of a relationship contract assures couples that they will enjoy lots of benefits, which include the following; honesty, awareness of your partner’s reeds, communication, clarity and alignment in your intentions, and arriving versus slides.
It is the act of being fair and transparent in a relationship. There is no relationship that can survive without honesty and openness. If there is any deprivation in both then what exists is just an illusion of a successful relationship.
It may have a good impression on the outside but is totally empty on the inside. This virtue helps in avoiding and controlling fights, frustrations, and unnecessary internalized resentments. This is a love test; therefore, if it lacks the couple’s love is false love.
A successful and strong relationship is not built on silence, both partners talk to each other, they express their feelings towards each other and they listen to each other. Communication assists couples in decision making especially when they want to bring their unwritten or unspoken social contract into a formal documentation.
Awareness of partner’s needs
Having a clear knowledge of a couple’s demands in a relationship is very important in order for a relationship to survive. By coming out with a relationship contract, it will be easier for you to have clear understanding of the emotional, spiritual, physical and sexual needs that your partner wishes that both of you can achieve them collectively.
Clarity and Alignment in your intentions
Drafting a relationship agreement is a vital way towards getting a clarity and alignment to your long term intentions in a couple. For example, intimacy and romance are believed to be the food that feeds a relationship but they depend on the intention behind the romantic gestures and the kind of intimacy that thrives in a relationship. Thus, by having fruitful conversations with one another couples will be able to solve unnecessary misunderstanding and insecurities.
Arriving versus Sliding
Deciding on whom to marry, people experience a lot of relationship choices. This is influenced by the cost of failed relationships, thus it is very much important for individuals to take a lot of considerations on making these kinds of choices. It is argued that relationship’s decision-making processes are closely connected to person’s level of satisfaction and partner’s attraction toward each other. These are critical issues that propagate the formation of relationship contracts.
Things to Know Before Signing a Relationship Contract
Since each and individual in a serious relationship is much concerned with his or her assets or wealth because these documents assist in defining the guidelines or limitations of your relationship. Therefore, this type of a social contract should be signed in presence of a legal practitioner such as a lawyer.
There are issues to put into consideration before signing such an agreement, they include the following:
- Decide whether or not you want a relationship contract, always take time in decision making regarding the contract and ask at the right time, you should define the seriousness of the contract, you must be open, trustworthy and honesty.
- You should write your issues separately; this is to ensure that the contract does not reflect on one partner’s wishes. Before signing a relationship contract you should know what goes in the contract and what should not be allowed to be in the contract. A relationship contract template is useful to give you an idea what all it will cover.
- Do not get consequences because if one of you breaches the contract, you are supposed to bring up the issue in a polite manner. Human errors are inevitable.
- Always take charge of the hard tasks, because the relationship contracts assist in avoiding arguments regarding division of the house chores and responsibilities. The major ideas of relationship contract are to solve any form of conflict and to prevent them from reoccurring. It may be tiresome but it will make life easier and enjoyable.
- Each couple should decide on a deadline in order to avoid sliding into marriage, this done by adding an expiration date to your contract. As that particular date comes, you can freely agree on the procedures to add in your relationship. This is the reason why relationship contracts should be formulated at the early stages of the relationship. Study a relationship contract template to have an idea of it.
The contract should be a living document. This will help in adjusting to any form of change because change is inevitable. It is a set of agreed –upon parameters. It is very important to make it official both in soft and hard copies. By making reviews on your relationship contract on regular basis it might always remind you of how excellent you possess it, and how precious your relationship is and appreciates each other more.
Once you have agreed on what to include in your contract, you should print it, put a date on it, and sign it. You can either frame it as a way of symbolizing your commitment to each other or you can hide it.
Personal Intentions which lead to the Need for a Relationship Agreement
When one needs to write a personal contract, one needs to a moment and ask him or herself the reasons that influenced him or her to come up with a relationship contract. The contract directs the ways on which a couple remains together, responsibilities, money and the material wealth will be shared, and any other factor apart of these factors would be of great interest to the couple.
Therefore, a relationship contract should be formulated at the early stages of a relationship. It is also important to be aware of any changes that may occur in future in order to allow flexibility in the relationship.
Whatever influences you into formulating a contract, you should find it, and communicate it to your partner. You are supposed to be strong and wise enough to adjust to any form of change that may arise due to the changing circumstances.
Details of a Relationship Contract
The things to include in relationship agreements are quite many and differ from each other but depend on your relationship, future objectives, and past events. Here are some of the issues that a couple should include in a relationship contract,
Property and Finances Details
It sought to cover all the properties including those you had before you started the relationship and properties gained by both of you.
Property inherited or gained as a result of gifts in during the relationship.
Any property given to a couple is legally owned by two of you. This involves gifts received from a commitment occasion, anniversary party, or received from a friend or relative either to one of you or both you.
The contract should cover how you should or you would like to handle your expenses. This may include how you sub-divide your daily utilities, the cost of food and laundry, just to mention a few.
Separation or Death
It is advisable to include a short description of what might happen if there happen to be a separation or one of you passes away. In case a separation occurs, you may wish to share equally the property you gained when you together or according to each other’s contributions. Upon death, the wealth remains in the hands of the living partner.
All relationship agreements should include all means that will be used in conflict resolutions. In recent years couples used to go courts to resolve disagreements. Nowadays couples are advised to use other means in solving disputes, such as mediation and arbitration if mediation seems to fail.
Details that are concerned with couple’s rational balance of independence versus issues related to intimacy and romance.
Also, it may include issues such as; agreeing never to go to bed when angry, sharing house chores, organizing date nights, deciding how to share holidays with your families, not to keep secrets, not to put the relationship at risk, and deciding on how to manage time together and with friends.
Relationship Agreements: Tips and Useful Information
- Honesty, being open, and trustworthy is the cornerstone of every successful relationship. It is very wise for a couple to listen to each other’s thoughts and wishes. The contract is for both of you.
- Both of you should write your issues separately, you should have a clear knowledge on the things you want into your relationship and then share it with your partner. Get to know what may undermine the relationship. Lastly, do not accept something that both of disagree on.
- The agreement ought to be made a living document by creating time to go through it severally together with you partner. Thus, any change may be of great benefit to both of you.
- It should be a way for couples to communicate effectively and in a polite manner. Relationships are prone to mistakes but they should not be the limiting factors in any relationship.
- Do not be worried about the outcomes. Relationship contracts are less likely to be focused on coercing the other partner into submission.
The Importance of having a Relationship Agreement
- All married and unmarried couples are advised to in possession of a relationship agreement. This is because these types of contracts cover your properties, your investments, and other vital issues. Having a relationship contract would help couples in not allowing a third party to influence their relationship in a negative manner. But, friendships and relationships with others are very important; they are subordinate to the importance of the relationship.
- It also helps in settling disputes when couples separate because without a legal agreement it would be more difficult, especially if a couple has been together for a long time, or much money or wealth is associated and the separation is not peaceful. If this happens one would require the services of a lawyer or a financial consultant.
- Parties involved have a moral duty to cater for a family member such as a parent who is unable to take care of him or herself. This type of contract allows parties to agree on which duties each member should undertake in supporting and taking care of their parents and when parents require such support and caring.
- Couples are recommended to have a clear understanding that each of one belongs to a certain family, and each one of them must respect and protect the interests of the whole family. There must be a lot of emphasis on the family unit because it reflects the wishes and desires of a couple. A relationship contract directs individuals on how they should relate with the extended family and guidelines to follow when a conflict of interest arises or seem to occur.
Relationship Contract Templates
The simplest and easiest type of relationship contracts is the one that has simple instructions to follow. They include introduction, contract details and signature part.
Begin by writing, “This contract is formulated and agreed by and between (YOUR NAME) and (YOUR PARTNER’S NAME). The terms of the agreement should always begin with (START DATE) and must continue up to (END DATE OF TERM).
In this relationship we concur to the following;”
All the necessary relationship contract details should be listed and clearly written. You can fill in a relationship contract template first before filling in the final copy.
Here is a short description of details contained in a relationship contract.
- We both agree to never our relationship at risk.
- We shall always take time for ourselves as a couple.
- We will always maintain a weekly, non-distraction night date.
- We agree to remain focused on our main objective as a couple but not in a specified time period.
- We will always make peace when dealing with arising issues such as disagreements.
- We agree to be faithful, and always tell the truth if it is very to do so.
- We shall invest heavily in our health care and that of our loved ones in order to get the best outcome from each of us.
- We agree to believe that each one of us has the best interests of our relationship.
- We shall be having sex Y times per week.
- We agree to communicate and express our inner feelings in order to encourage transparency in our relationship.
- We agree to honor our relationship.
- We will always express our love by solving our issues in friendly and polite manner.
- We agree to save some money for our anniversaries, birthdays, holiday presents and our future investments.
- We agree to uphold and protect this contract to our level best.
Consequences of Breaking a Relationship Contract
Many couples are usually engaged before they finally get married. It is recommended that a relationship contract is much more than just a number of demands and sets of regulations that ought to be adhered to. Obviously, there are issues that may not need a lot of emphasis in order for your relationship to flourish properly. But, there are things that may not be achievable in day to day life such as dealing with disputes quickly as they arise.
Sometimes we find ourselves breaching some parts of our relationship contracts; we should always remind ourselves of the importance on each and every detail in the contract and honoring it.
Always keep in mind that your contract is comprised of guidelines. Even though, you are prone to human error. You are supposed to solely follow it in order to be in a stable position.
Allow your relationship to change over time
Individuals change. Relationships change, also interests change. Therefore, your relationship contract should always change with time. It is recommended that you revisit and update your relationship contract on a regular basis.
Revisiting and updating your social contract should be somewhere between 6-12 months. This is ideally recommended. Do not wait until it reaches a point where it becomes irrelevant. It is supposed to be a routine.
If you and your partner keep on revising and updating your relationship contract there is surety of a strong, healthy and successful relationship.
You Should Start By
First of all, start by taking action.
Communicate to your partner on the interests and the importance of having a relationship contract. Both parties should have the mutual understanding of being in possession of a relationship agreement.